While relationships can be enriching, they also come with challenges. In communication, misunderstandings and lack of communication can strain relationships. Differences in opinions, values, and interests can lead to conflicts that need resolution. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and breaches of trust can be difficult to repair.
To manage the struggle of maintaining relationships, focus on consistent communication and making time for your friends and family. Set reminders to check in with them regularly, whether through a quick message or a call. Make plans for regular hangouts or activities that you all can enjoy, which can help strengthen your bond. Also, be open to discussing any misunderstandings or issues that arise, addressing them with honesty and empathy. By nurturing your relationships with care and effort, you'll find it easier to sustain meaningful connections.
TIP: To maintain and nurture them, embrace the depth of your relationships. Having only one or two close friends is not wrong. Should you wish to expand your social circle, start by engaging in activities or joining groups where you can meet like-minded individuals. Gradually build connections by having casual chats or sharing experiences without the pressure of forming deep bonds immediately. Balance your comfort zone with new social opportunities, allowing yourself to enjoy the benefits of both close and broader friendships.
TIP: To manage the difficulty of making new friends, start by identifying shared interests and activities that naturally bring people together. Join clubs, groups, or classes that align with your hobbies or passions. Practice approaching new acquaintances with open-ended questions that encourage conversation. Additionally, take small steps to extend social invitations, such as suggesting a coffee meet-up or a casual hangout. Building friendships is a gradual process, so be patient and give yourself grace as you navigate new social connections.
TIP: To manage family distancing, consider seeking family therapy or counseling that focuses on improving communication and understanding within the family. Additionally, try to openly discuss your needs and boundaries with your family members, and encourage them to share theirs as well. Educating your family about neurodivergence and how it affects you can foster empathy and patience on both sides. By creating a supportive and informed environment, you can work towards strengthening your familial relationships.
TIP: If you struggle with distinguishing between playful teasing and mocking due to challenges in interpreting social cues and understanding nuanced communication, consider seeking guidance from a trusted friend or family member who can help you interpret social interactions. Additionally, practicing mindfulness and observing others' body language and tone of voice in various contexts can help you differentiate between teasing and mocking. If you feel uncertain, don't hesitate to ask the person directly for clarification to avoid misunderstandings.
TIP: To manage indirect requests and subtle hints, consider practicing active listening skills and asking for clarification when uncertain. For instance, if someone mentions they are cold without directly asking for help, you could respond with, "Would you like me to get you a blanket?" This approach not only clarifies the person's needs but also shows your willingness to assist. Additionally, you can work on recognizing common indirect requests by discussing them with a trusted friend or family member who can provide examples and guidance. Over time, this practice can help you become more attuned to indirect communication cues.
TIP: If you prefer one-on-one interaction over group interaction due to difficulties in processing multiple social cues simultaneously and feeling overwhelmed in larger social settings, consider smaller, more controlled settings where you feel more comfortable. Communicate your preference for one-on-one or small group interactions to your friends and family, so they understand your needs. Additionally, give yourself time to recharge after social activities and practice self-care to avoid social burnout. By being proactive about your social preferences, you can create more enjoyable and manageable social experiences.
TIP: To avoid feeling overwhelmed by social interactions, it's important to recognize and respect your own limits. Try to set aside designated times for social interactions when you feel most capable of engaging. Communicate openly with friends and family about your need for breaks and downtime. Practicing self-care and establishing routines can help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed by social demands. Additionally, seeking support from a therapist or counselor can provide strategies to improve social skills and manage anxiety related to social interactions.
TIP: If you find it hard to understand the unwritten "rules" of social interaction because others often process social cues and implicit communication differently, consider creating a personal guide or checklist of common social rules and scenarios with the help of a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. This guide can serve as a reference to better understand what is expected in various social interactions. Additionally, role-playing different social situations and practicing responses can help build confidence and improve social skills over time.
My own device, and one that has been effective for many of my students, is to focus attention on breathing. Some object or activity which is always present is needed. What is more here and now than one’s breathing? Putting attention on breathing simply means observing my breath going in, going out, going in, going out in its
natural rhythm. It does not mean intentionally controlling my breath.--W. Timothy Gallwey
Neurodivergent individuals, such as those with autism spectrum disorder or ADHD, may rely on scripted speech or imitate others in social situations because it provides a predictable and structured way to navigate social interactions. This approach can help them feel more confident and reduce anxiety by having a clear plan for what to say and how to respond. Scripted speech can also serve as a coping mechanism to manage the uncertainty and complexity of social cues and expectations.
TIP: To be prepared for social interaction, consider practicing and expanding your repertoire of scripts in a variety of social scenarios. Work with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist to develop and refine these scripts, making sure they are flexible enough to adapt to different contexts. Additionally, gradually challenge yourself to step out of these scripts and engage in more spontaneous conversations. Start with low-stakes interactions, such as chatting with a barista, and slowly build up to more complex social situations. By combining the comfort of scripted speech with the experience of spontaneous interaction, you can enhance your social skills and feel more confident in various social settings.
TIP: To manage a friend's or family member's moments of distress, it can be helpful to practice empathy and emotional recognition skills with the support of a therapist or trusted friend. Learning to identify and label emotions in yourself and others can improve your ability to respond appropriately. Additionally, asking for clarification when unsure about someone’s feelings or responses can help bridge the gap in understanding and foster better communication. Remember, it's okay to take a moment to process the situation before responding, and to communicate your needs for that time to others. You will avoid misunderstandings and frustration for you and for the friend or family member in distress.
TIP: To feel at ease in a family gathering, consider observing and noting the social dynamics of the group. Pay attention to body language, tone of voice, and pauses in the conversation to identify natural entry points. Practice this skill in low-pressure settings and gradually increase the complexity of social scenarios. Additionally, having a trusted friend or family member who can provide feedback and guidance on your social timing can be incredibly beneficial. This practice can help build your confidence and improve your ability to join in family gatherings.
TIP: To manage your unintentional insensitivity or lack of awareness, it is helpful to work on enhancing emotional intelligence and empathy skills. Engaging in activities like role-playing different social scenarios with a therapist or a trusted friend can aid in understanding and reacting to various emotional cues. Additionally, practicing active listening and asking clarifying questions can help ensure better communication and understanding of others' emotions. By improving these skills, you can navigate social interactions more effectively and harmoniously.
TIP: To manage your occasional selfishness with family and friends, it is helpful to work on enhancing emotional intelligence and empathy skills. Engaging in activities like role-playing different social scenarios with a therapist or a trusted friend can aid in understanding and reacting to various emotional cues. Additionally, practicing active listening and asking clarifying questions can help ensure better communication and understanding of others' emotions. By improving these skills, neurodivergent individuals can navigate social interactions more effectively and foster more harmonious relationships.
TIP: To manage misunderstandings with family and friends, it is helpful to practice active listening and ensure that you are fully engaged in conversations. Reflect on what you think the other person is saying and confirm your understanding, which means don’t hesitate to ask clarifying questions if something isn’t clear. Additionally, working with a therapist or a trusted friend to develop better skills in reading social cues and understanding emotions can greatly improve your ability to navigate such situations. Engaging in role-playing exercises can also help you practice and refine these skills in a safe and supportive environment.
Now is a good time for some thought and reflection.
Ask yourself the following questions. Am I Kind or Unkind? Honest or Dishonest? Trustworthy or
Untrustworthy? Respectful or Disrespectful? Faithful or
Unfaithful? Self-controlled or Not self-controlled?
Responsible or Irresponsible? As humans, we are what we repeatedly do, and thus our character is the sum of our habits, our unique assortment of virtues and vices. Aristotle said, “No one who desires to become good will become good unless he does good things.” Developing good character habits ... must be repeatedly practiced until they become habits.--Reiner Martens
Learn the best way to communicate and physically express yourself.