Relationships are most of what life is about. Very often, there is nothing that matters more to people than having or not having relationships with each other. For this reason, relationship counseling is among the most wanted types of counseling.
It is often also the most misunderstood: counseling cannot answer the question, “will my relationship succeed or fail?” although this is often why many people seek the help of a counselor. Relationship counseling, however, can help greatly
with all the questions that need to be asked about relationships–and this ultimately leads to uncovering the truth about the viability or even the desirability of relationships with a specific individual.
To dating couples, I offer dating relationship counseling. This may be particularly helpful for individuals, perhaps older in age, who are dating again after exiting a long-term relationship, experiencing a breakup or recovering from a divorce. Through diagnostic interviews and assessment measures (some online, some paper-based) I seek to determine the present state of the relationship and its value to each of the partners, assess the compatibility within the couple, and identify personality and characteristic differences that could derail the relationship’s success.
To engaged couples, I offer premarital counseling. When the decision to become engaged has been made, some questions may arise that require good answers. I can help formulating those questions and help determine a range of possible answers and choices through the use of diagnostic interviewing and assessment measures (some online, some paper-based). The goals are to determine the health of the relationship and its value to each of the partners, to assess the compatibility within the couple, and to identify personality and characteristic differences that could derail the couple’s marriage.
If you and your spouse want to form a better union and are struggling with differences in personality and point of view, or are trying to figure out whether and how the relationship could be improved, marriage enhancement counseling may be the right approach. The assessment measures (some online, some paper-based) I use, plus a judicious use of a question and answer format helps me determine the current state of the marriage and its value to each of the partners, assess the issues that cause incompatibility within the couple, and identify those that could derail the marriage.
The dissolution of a marriage is a life-changing decision. If you are struggling with seemingly unsolvable difference in personality, behavior, values and point of view, and are trying to discern whether the relationship can and should continue to exist, please consider discernment counseling. Discernment counseling differs greatly from marriage enhancement counseling, as it is solely focused on helping the couple decide the best possible course of action, to help prevent an unnecessary divorce, or to facilitate a sensible and caring approach to marriage dissolution.
To get the acceptance and love we need, we should understand love relationships. They are complex, sometimes starting with infatuation and sometimes with friendship. After several months, the relationship may evolve into secure, comfortable, warm attachment. Later, love may keep or loose its passion, may gain or loose commitment, may retain its positive intimacy, fade away, or become a hotbed of smoldering resentment. Love is also paradoxical. Like most things that give us great joy, love can also cause us great pain. Thus, we are excited but scared to ask for a date; we are crushed when a boy/girlfriend leaves us; almost 50% of marriages end in painful divorce, other marriages are “empty;” we are disappointed when passionate love turns to boredom; we are flooded with anger and an awesome sense of loss when a spouse is unfaithful; we may feel sexually inadequate even with our spouse; our greatest frustrations and resentments are often with our lover; the death of a loved one is our worst moment. We often hurt the people we love. And, although the threat of pain shouldn’t stop us from loving, it does sometimes.–Tucker-Ladd,
C. E. (2011). Psychological Self-Help.